Clik here to view.
Crisis Conspiracy in a Dim-Lit Restaurant
So then…the server drops off our drinks and hands us the most impossibly long menus I’ve ever seen. Each menu is one extremely tall sheet made of beautiful parchment paper and printed with an elaborate...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Madcapping Adventure
So then…I fake a ghastly gastro-intestinal malady to exit work early, grab a cab to my apartment, and throw together a couple ensembles appropriate for the flash and dazzle of Vegas. Hey, why spend a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Biker Beauty?
So then…I swoop down the hill on my bike, zipping through the bike path at Mason Park, and just as I gracefully glide around a massive oak tree, I see him again. My lips can’t help curving into a smile...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Quick! Insert Two Cups of Margaritas!
So then…I kick the dishwasher. And the dishwasher is singularly unimpressed. So I hop online and send an email to some of my friends in the neighborhood: Dear Neighbors: Did this happen to any of you?...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sex in a Pan
So then…I cradle the kitchen phone between ear and shoulder so I can spoon the whipped cream into the cream cheese, as the store clerk says he’s not sure if he has the DVD movie of Reservoir Dogs in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Colonel Mustard with the Drapery Cord in the Living Room!
So then…she curls her lip almost imperceptibly as she examines the heavy brocade drapes on my living room windows. As she lifts the thick fabric, dust motes fly up into the sunshine streaming through...
View ArticleClik here to view.
His Flippant Words May Come Back to Haunt Him — (or Haunt ME!)
So then…I wave the papers in my husband’s direction and say, “The lawyer wants us to answer some questions before we meet with him to fill out the living wills.” “Uh-huh,” he says distractedly, playing...
View ArticleClik here to view.
We’ve Been Robbed! (And My Spouse is Ready to Name Names!)
So then…his hand shoots up and the neighborhood HOA president calls on him. My husband David stands up at the homeowners meeting and announces: “We’ve been robbed!” Two gasps and a shudder from the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Does He Get Up Early Just To Get It So Wrong?
So then…I give big hugs and kisses to Tucker, 7, and Chloe, 4, for their homemade Mother’s Day gifts and thank them for the gorgeous flowers in the vase next to the cupcakes they made. And now for the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
How Facebook Helped Me Dodge a Bullet
So then…my sister Della urges me for the 52nd time to look up people from the past on Facebook so I can catch up with all my old friends from high school and college. I tell her that I prefer to think...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What the Hell Is He TALKING About?
So then…David and I eat breakfast at the kitchen table. David: Did you see that detective show the other day? Me: The one with the red lamp? David: Yeah. Me: Yeah, what about it? David: That’s all....
View ArticleClik here to view.
That’s Not a Threat; That’s a VOW
So then…I peek through the Church door with excitement as I prepare for my Grand Entrance. Our friends and family have gathered from round the globe to witness our wedding. I am glowing with goodwill....
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Most Unlikely Culprit in this Mystifying Mystery
So then…I try to gently, but urgently, stuff the four brand new dresses into my suitcase, but it.will.not.zip. (Mama says that proper ladies don’t sweat — they glisten. Well, I am glistening buckets.)...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Um…Is She HITTING on Me?
So then…my friend Lindsey follows me upstairs to my bedroom. (Oh, git yer mind out da gutter! It ain’t THAT kinda story!) I want to show her the 8 giant wine glasses in my closet in case she’d like to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
He Has All the Social Grace of a Rhinoceros
So then…I drive Tucker home from school, just as he receives a text from a classmate. “Sienna invited me to a swimming party at her house on Saturday.” “Oh, that should be fun,” I say. “I know you...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sex in a Pan
So then…I cradle the kitchen phone between ear and shoulder so I can spoon the whipped cream into the cream cheese, as the store clerk says he’s not sure if he has the DVD movie of Reservoir Dogs in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Your NOISY Work is Bothering Me
So then…I complain to my friends, in a completely loving way, of course, that my husband simply sits in the family room watching TV while I clean the kitchen. “I’m particularly noisy as I load the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
That Lying Little #@%&!
So then…my husband’s navigational system says: “Turn left here.” David looks at me smugly and smiles, proudly heeding the advice of his new car as he turns left with a flourish. I admit: I am pretty...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Super Bad? More like SUPER MAD!
So then…I shout, “Fine!” And then he shouts, “FINE!” — slams the door, gets in his car, and drives to work. I seethe. We’re in the middle of a big argument and he bails just to go to work? Where are...
View ArticleClik here to view.
What the Hell Just HIT Me?
So then…the music soars to a crescendo as the actors scurry about the Broadway stage — which my boyfriend and I can see perfectly from our fantastic theatre seats. Just as we’re experiencing the...
View Article
